(i am) noe fool
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jim elliot said...

he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
about me

jambo. jina langu ni
clay noe.

i'm 29. i like chai, missions, adventure sports, curry, democracy, text messaging, hiking, a good hoodie, my church and kentucky basketball.

i do not like olives, injustice, dumb drivers, golf, liars, wearing suits for prolonged periods of time, or duke basketball.
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    Saturday, June 13, 2009
    one purpose of many

    so normally on june 13 of every year, i re-post the same thing. why? well, honestly, because what i wrote originally is pretty darn good and why re-invent the wheel? but this year i'm re-inventing it.

    today is the 22nd anniversary of a truck running over me. you know, the one where my leg was torn off and blood was everywhere and you could see part of my skull. ouch!

    normally i do everything i can to stay OFF the streets on june 13 of every year. i try to avoid them like the plague.

    but not this year.

    i'm about to leave my house and go running. yep, running. my run may not be as fast, or my form as perfect, as some of yours but my feet will be moving in rapid succession and i'll be giving it everything i have to give. and i won't care when people go racing past me today because at least i'm here. i'm standing. i'm moving. i'm running.

    i believe God made me for a purpose ... and when I run I feel His pleasure." - eric liddell

    Wednesday, June 03, 2009
    it only takes one person to start a...


    Monday, May 04, 2009
    if

    if you can keep your head when all about you
    are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    but make allowance for their doubting too;
    if you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
    or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
    and yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

    if you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
    if you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
    if you can meet with triumph and disaster
    and treat those two imposters just the same;
    if you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    and stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

    if you can make one heap of all your winnings
    and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    and lose, and start again at your beginnings
    and never breath a word about your loss;
    if you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    to serve your turn long after they are gone,
    and so hold on when there is nothing in you
    except the will which says to them: "hold on";

    if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
    if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    if all men count with you, but none too much;
    if you can fill the unforgiving minute
    with sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
    yours is the earth and everything that's in it.

    - rudyard kipling

    Thursday, March 19, 2009
    when it rains, it pours

    normally that phrase is used in a negative context, but i'm changing that to a positive for this post.

    yesterday i got incredibly good, life-changing news via old-fashioned snail mail. then a few minutes later i got incredibly good, life-changing news via email. the next few months hold some big changes for me!!

    can't. freakin'. wait.

    Tuesday, March 10, 2009
    hissssssssss

    as part of a class i took in college, we attended all types of religious institutions. we visited a zen buddhist temple, the 3rd mosque built in the united states, a hindu temple, an orthodox synogogue, a reformed synogogue, an antiochian orthodox temple as well as a good ole southern snake handling church.

    the snake handling church we went to was in rural northern alabama. like down a dirt road and past the cows rural. somehow i was volunteered to take pictures of the handling. i made it to the fifth row or so and decided to use my zoom. being up close and personal with the rattlesnakes didn't bear witness with my spirit.

    watch this video of a snake handling church somewhere in appalachia. i especially am fond of the guy in red pants, a white tuxedo shirt and a black vest around the 3:00 mark.


    Sunday, March 01, 2009
    i'm hungry now

    the following happened between 9:00am - 10:00am:

    a pastor: clay, i've been praying for your mate and the Lord gave me a word for you.

    me: let's hear it.

    a pastor: culinary.

    me: well, i like to eat.

    a pastor: whoever your mate is will be a good cook and will be able to fill your stomach.

    me: i accept that in the name of Jesus!!!

    Thursday, February 26, 2009
    God, i love You but i don't want to talk to You

    if you've hung around here for long, then you know that i'm unashamedly honest. and this post will be no different. so if you're overly religious, then you may want to stop reading now.

    the past 24 hours in particular have sucked like a hoover on steriods for a plethora of reasons, most of which i cannot disclose publicly. but i can tell you that it's made me question a lot of things.

    it's made me question myself. in an effort to sincerely do what's right, what have i done wrong? my motives have been good and pure, but my decisions have been wrong. how do i right those wrongs?

    it's made me question my relationships. at what point do i stop standing beside people and start standing up to people? at what point do i call a wrong a wrong? when/if i do, how much will it cost me? what will i have sacrificed?

    it's made me question God. i believe that He is ultimately in control. i believe that He still does miracles. i believe that He loves us and that He has our best interests in mind, even when it seems like He's jerking us around. the problem lies where my faith and His action intersect. if He can change things, then for pete's sake why doesn't He?!

    one time while i was praying i said, "God, i love You but i don't want to talk to You." and instantly i felt closer to Him than i had in a very long time. it's like He acknowledged my honesty and told me it was ok. He'd still be there when i was ready to talk again. and He was.

    at the end of the day, i think He just wants us to be honest. put down the mask, take the layers off, and be honest.

    i'm not one of those christians who is happy all the freakin' time. and Jesus wasn't either. He was in the garden in gethsemane when He told God, "if there is any way, get me out of this!" He was obviously not a happy camper, but He still trusted.

    the events of the last 24 hours have rocked my world, but they haven't rocked His. so what do i do now? i do what Jesus did. i trust.

    tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
    just to take Him at His word
    just to rest upon His promise
    just to know, 'thus sayeth the Lord'

    Wednesday, February 25, 2009
    how He loves

    He is jealous for me
    love's like a hurricane
    i am a tree
    bending beneath the weight
    of His wind and mercy
    when all of a sudden
    i am unaware of these afflictions
    eclipsed by glory
    and i realize just how beautiful You are
    and how great Your
    affections are for me

    oh how He loves us so
    oh how He loves us
    how He loves us so

    we are His portion
    and He is our prize
    drawn to redemption
    by the grace in His eyes
    if grace is an ocean,
    we're all sinking

    so heaven meets earth
    like a sloppy wet kiss
    and my heart turns violently
    inside of my chest
    i don't have time
    to maintain these regrets
    when i think about the way
    He loves us

    - kim walker

    Sunday, February 15, 2009
    making sense of it all

    the dreaded phone call happened today. you know, the one where they tell you that your loved one died. and not the one that people were expecting to die. not the one who had cancer. not the one who was almost as old as moses. but the other one. the one you didn't expect.

    this afternoon my cousin's neighbors found him slumped over the bath tub. he had died sometime yesterday, or so say the preliminary reports from the authorities. the problem isn't that he died, but unless he prayed during his last moments, he didn't know God. in fact, he normally would talk about how much he disliked God.

    because i'm a christian, i believe in heaven and hell. and i also believe that if you don't have a personal relationship with Him that you spend eternity in hell.

    so where does that leave us? how do you reconcile the fact that your loved one may be in hell, literally? where does grace end? did God not answer the decades of prayers asking for his salvation? or did He and we just don't know it?

    lots of questions but not a lot of answers.

    Thursday, February 05, 2009
    only 67 requirements

    so recently several friends have tried setting me up with single girls that they know. and of course, "she'd be perfect!" one problem: i'm picky. for real. very picky. but in the midst of all that pickiness, i have only 3 basic requirements: 1) christian, 2) single, and 3) disease-free. cause i don't want your diseases.

    girl #1 - met all the requirements (although I'm not sure about #3), but she is dumb. i mean really dumb. she doesn't have to have a PhD or anything, but she should know that boston isn't a state.

    girl #2 - met all the requirements, but she was too ghetto for me. no offense to those of you who like mucho ghetto, i just don't. word.

    girl #3 - met all the requirements, but ended up being wacko. turns out her employer had to call the po-po when she was terminated. i don't need that kind of drama.

    girl #4 - met all the requirements, but the only thing she wanted to talk about was Jesus. one phone conversation went a little like this:

    me: hello
    her: so what's Jesus told you today?
    me: nothing
    her: why?
    me: because He has laryngitis

    i love Jesus, don't get me wrong, but i don't have to talk about Him all the time.

    girl #5 - met all the requirements (sketchy again on #1 and #3), but turns out she has more personalities than sybil.

    ummm, so i guess i have more than just 3 requirements. maybe i should re-visit my list.